What did you just say, weirdo?

I can blog. I have thoughts.

I am a college graduate with a part time serving job (decent pay, but serving no-less). I don't know what the FUCK I'm going to do with the rest of my life, except that unless I'm famous (which I will be), it probably won't pay very much. I know what I'm passionate about, and yet I can't seem to find anyone who will hire me for a serious position because they don't know what I'm capable of (even though my resume kicks ass).

I haven't had health insurance in months because I'm no longer a student. I found a lump in my breast and three grand later, I'm actually okay, but I'm waiting to hear back on the lab results to see if I have an immuno-deficiency.

I'll. Be. Fine.

I have to pay off my student loans because that whole grace period is long gone. Ten grand isn't terrible, but it's ten grand that I would really love to spend on furniture.. perhaps a bed that I don't own yet because I'm so broke. I also haven't shopped for myself in nearly a year.

But enough of that. I have goals. I bought a little Moleskine notebook. The front half is dedicated to to-do lists. The middle has two lists: books to read before I die, and movies to watch before I die. The back is my bucket list, mostly of places to visit... but also includes "get arrested for something stupid" and "rap in front of a big crowd". Why? Just because.

This Only Proves My Lack of Commitment

So it's been a few days, huh?

I can't say I've been SOOOO busy, because that would be an outright lie. I can't even say that I was doing anything constructive in the meantime, because all I've been doing is jobhunting... And I'll tell you all about THAT, but let me catch you up on the most boring first:

June 13th: Volunteered my ass for a dunk tank at the Pride festival. Here's a picture of the Geico gecko, myself, and Steven, one of the other local gays:


June 18th: Awesome date with an incredible woman, who just happens to be my ex girlfriend.. Yeah.. Mich came to see me in Arlington and we went to a restaurant called Hard Times Cafe which has the BEST wings EVER.

June 21st: Got tricked into an evil line of work. They said I would be a field manager for a grassroots organization. They lied. They forced me into servitude by being one of those obnoxious people on the street, asking them to help out Planned Parenthood by donating money. FUCK THAT SHIT. I did that for five years in college. I am NOT gonna subject myself to that kind of abuse again. If I wanted to be abused, I would march directly into the Supreme Court demanding that abortion remain legalized FOREVER. So yeah.

June 23rd: Quit the evil line of work.

July 1st: Moved into my new house!!!

July 2nd: Realized house needs some work. Also witnessed my first cockroach.

July 4th: Watched fireworks from the rooftop. I was absolutely surrounded by them. From where I was, I saw them at the National Mall, Virginia, Maryland, and everywhere else that people wanted to set them off. Also got drunk off box-wine.

Catch up on the rest later...

I said I would commit to this

Okay, I feel like a jackass... because I told myself I would commit to this blog... and I've been slacking. REALLY slacking.

The woman I live with is out of town, and because we have not signed a lease yet, I have been couchsurfing since Wednesday. I am still in shock and awe at how nice, genuine, and incredibily successful these people are. They span through all ages, though I'm pretty sure I'm the youngest thus far. I want to accomplish what these people have done, all while achieving my central goal of becoming an activist for reproductive justice.

This is my plan:
Get a daytime job... I have a petsitting interview this week sometime.
Intern at an organization pertaining to my career goal: Either Planned Parenthood or HRC, HRW, all the bigtime orgs.
TRAVEL.. With this career path I can pretty much do whatever I want.
Settle down... maybe... with full time work... something government related that will give me benefits and still let me do all the things I want to do for myself.

A little luck.

It is incredible what a little bit of luck, perseverance, and internet browsing can do. Up until about three weeks ago, I had no idea where I would end up. All I knew was that I had to get the hell out of Tampa, and I had to get out fast. My name had been dragged through mud, sleet, snow, and hail, and I was sick and tired of seeing the same faces and hearing the same names, and the same dramatic situations that I had put up with for the last five years. I was tired of letting people into my life, only to be let down over and over.

I am the first to admit I have flaws. Everyone does. But to be hurt intentionally by those you called your friends... now that's just fucked up.

But enough about that.

Back to my luck:
It just so happens that my room faces the big city. That's right: Washington, DC... I can see the Capitol Building and the Washington Monument... They are both beautiful, and every time I look out my window, I am reminded of how lucky I am to be here. How this is the beginning of something new and exciting, and a reminder that I'm going to be just fine.

I figure I should tell you that before today, I was on a downward spiral toward bankruptcy, homelessness, and a loss of myself.

Everyone in my (small) family has, or is going to file for bankruptcy. My aunt and uncle made some investments on a duplex that fell through when the economy went down. My mom and her boyfriend bought and built several properties that are also in foreclosure. My mom also works as a dentist in a redneck town where no one has any teeth to clean in the first place. My dad impulsively bought a condo after his divorce with my mom, and that piece of shit hellhole has home-owner's association fees through the fucking ceiling, so he said F that too. Lastly, my mom's boyfriend, who is a contractor, and has been out of work for quite some time, just filed. My poor grandmother gave up her retirement money to stay at home, helping raise the most beautiful mistake of a two year old in the world. And here I am.

Luckily, my college fund was set in stone before this debacle ensued. But graduating with a degree in Women's Studies and Criminology won't do too much for me in the Sunshine State, so at this point, it is fair to say I made the right decision to move here.

While my life goals have changed dramatically in the last year, there are, at this point, two options for me: spend my life as a feminist activist in the community, working to better reproductive rights in our society... or work with animals my entire life... The benefits of both are endless... but more on that later... it's time to buy groceries.

From bankrupt family to big city feminist.

The small town feminist moves to a big city.

This week is all about changes. I move into my new apartment today. DC is everything and more I imagined it to be. On the drive up from Florida, my ears popped, a sure sign of a mountainous region... at least, that's what I thought. I kept looking at Michele and screaming while pointing: "Baby! Baby! a mountain!" With the annoyed reply of "No Janive, that's a hill." Anything compared to Florida is a mountain. At least for me.

I have officially sacrificed my sanity, my relationship, and my contacts down south, in order to start a new life here. In the capital of this (not so) great country we live in. Through this blog, I might be able to achieve something BIGGER than myself, and maybe... just maybe, become that incredible activist that I have always wanted to be.